“small gods”

Today, I want to talk about gods. Not just any random kind of god, but small gods.
Now, when we talk of gods, there are gods, and then there are ‘gods’. By gods, imagine Eshu, Sango, Thor, Amadioha, etc. Then when I say ‘gods’ … Well I’ll give you examples… That’s the point of this treatise afterall.

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To tell a story is not hard or so I’ve heard em say… but to tell a good, well structured story; according to the wisdom of the elders, they say you ought to start from the beginning… Well, here’s my beginning.

I first encountered ‘gods’; at least to the best of my memory sha at igbobi College.

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Those small ‘gods’ who lorded over your entire existence just because they bore the moniker of senior. Hmm… The hell I saw in my first week at boarding house ehn ๐Ÿ˜ฉ. There wereย  small gods who punished me just because my brother was a small god๐Ÿ˜‘; I suffered no be small. But then, I became a small god ghenghen … Plot twist of life๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. Food and dining prefect extraordinaire,ย  no be beans; my word was law๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ The tyrants we were tho…

I encountered my next set of small ‘gods’ at Afe Babalola University…

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Fiercest amongst whom was She; She Who Must Not Be Named. As a Law Student at Abuad, the fear of She was the beginning of wisdom. For her, it wasย  hundred percent or nothing. You were either a ‘Law Student’ or you were not. There was no middle ground.
Then came Feli… No, I will not mention names; God bless her good soul. She was the first line of defense against erring law students. You default college regulations laidis ehn, walahi, this woman would hunt you down Mossad style! Even the DSS had nothing on her!
Then we had the Red guards and the Porters ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I will not even say anything about them. Documenting theirย misdeeds deeds is not worth the effort.

At this point, you would’ve noticed that there’s a progressive pattern to this; so it’s natural that my next case study be The Nigerian Law School.

Ah… The ‘gods’ of The NLS, starting from day one, we had quite a number of them. The woman sharing tags, the man giving out yellow forms, the ID card man… Now, that was a small ‘god’!
But of particular importance, were the ‘gods’ in charge of clocking in and clocking out. I will not mention names, we know them and better still, they know themselves. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

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‘gods’ of the cocktail, where una dey? I dey hail o! The gods that would hoard small chops until it gets spoilt before they start sharing. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Lol…
I know I’ve mentioned a number of Law School gods, but this treatise would not be complete without the greatest among them all. Imbued with the spirit of the Angel of bar finals… ‘drumroll please’
laughing so hard I’ve lost my train of thoughts๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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A special shoutout to the ‘god’ that sat down behind the computer at the cafe where I went to process my NYSC registration, the latest in a long list of small gods I’ve encountered over the years; the god that gave birth to this piece *Dramatic pause* *eerie nollywood music playing in the background *ย  gracias for the inspiration

Errm Errm…ย I seem to have run out of words to type so… I’ll leave you to conclude for me by telling me about the small ‘gods’ you’ve encountered below…

P.S: This is a creation of the author’s fictitious imagination; resemblance to any person living or dead is not a coincidence… It is a Miracle.

P.S.S: An alternate version of this post is available on My friend Ella’s blog as Small busy Aproko gods

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