*to be accompanied by the tune of Tekno’s Pana playing in the background.
Last Saturday, the 5th of November 2016 to be precise, the Internet (by Internet, I mean twitter) was abuzz with chatter about a penguin. Apparently, the National Geographic Channel had via its account, tweeted a video (see video here) detailing a Penguin who had done her significant other dirt by choosing another penguin over him. What was not contained in this video however, was the backstory, how did they get to that point? There was much speculation and misinformation regarding this as everyone wanted to weigh in on the situation. Consequently, in a bid to determine what was true and what was not, I took it upon myself to get to the root the matter. From the tidbits and pieces gathered, I’ve been able to weave together a semblance truth from the available facts. This here below, is a true account of the events of 5th November 2016.
Once upon a time, In the land of far far away deep within the animal kingdom; there lived a Penguin named Folake and her significant other Chike.
Chike and Folake had met each other in the peak of their youth, just behind the blue lake which teemed with a variety of fish. For them, it was love at first sight.
Three years into their marriage however, naught was rosy. Chike had during their courtship promised Folake Cassava; Big big Cassava… A promise on which he was yet to deliver.
Weary of his numerous excuses, Folake surreptitiously discovered WhatsApp where she met Femi, a much acclaimed Yoruba demon.
For Folake, Life with Femi was not just fun, it was everything she desired. Unlike her boastful and deceitful husband Chike, Femi treated her like a queen, was in tune with her needs and possessed the ultimate big Cassava.
Everything came to a head as was portrayed by Natgeo Wild when Chike returned from a trip to Jamaica only to find out that this wife Folake had moved a stranger into their matrimonial home.
An incensed Chike, Like any other man would do, sought to throw out the intruder but was met with firm resistance by Femi who beat him up like ABCZCZXY<A<A<A<A (If you played Mortal Kombat growing up, particularly on sega; you'll understand this).
Unwilling and unable to accept his L, Chike tried to appeal to Folake's sense of humanity, but Folake had already given Femi all her love.
Bloodied, muddied and homeless with the rainy season fast approaching, Chike had no other option but to accept the fact that his wife Folake would no longer show him love… She had in his own words, indeed done him a strong thing.
* No penguins were harmed in the conception of this story.